Why men won't commit.

Okay so my first Blog about marriage was about women, then I went on about myself, now its the men's turn. So women You're dating a nice man, and the two of you Have fun together. You like him, he seems to like you. One night, over a glass of wine, why does it always seem to involve wine in my case, plum wine, you casually mention, marriage. He drops a bomb by telling you he doesn't want to marry again EVER. So what's going on?
Here are some possible reasons why men won't commit. One or two of them may apply to your guy.
1. They haven't healed from losing a former love. There are the four critical phases of healing; if people don't heal properly, they won't have the capacity to commit to a new person. Your new love may need more time. This one is hard, to accept, your over it, your last over but he is not, so you have to wait it out.
2. They're afraid. Some men avoid commitment because they don't want to go through another breakup or divorce. They're leery because of what happened before. Perhaps they got hurt or Robbed in their divorce settlement, perhaps their spouse cheated, or perhaps they were verbally abused. Whatever happened, they don't want to risk going through it again.
3. They simply don't want to. They're happy with their life the way it is. They feel by committing, they would be tied down and unhappy. They refuse to give up their comfortable ways of living.
4. They feel they aren't with the right woman (ouch!). This could be for a variety of reasons. Perhaps they see something about a person they don't like, or they may just feel they aren't compatible. Maybe they're too set in their single ways, or maybe they just don't love the women enough (OUCH AGAIN!) .
5. They prefer the hunt. Once they've made the conquest, they go looking for other women to chase . They'll never be happy with just one person.
6. They feel too rushed or pressured. Some men feel a year is too soon for a commitment, Some feel ten, others feel an even longer period of time is rushing it, and still others will feel pressured regardless of the time frame. They feel smothered and are tempted to wiggle their way out.
7. They want the benefits of a relationship, but not the responsibilities that go along with a commitment. This is sort of the "Why buy the cow when the milk is free?" way of thinking. They could be wary of the responsibilities that come with living together, owning and maintaining a home together , helping raise a partner's children, or assisting in sending kids to college.
How Should Women Deal With Men Who Won't Commit?
The first order of business is to communicate. Get to the core of the issue. Find out what he's thinking and why he's reluctant to commit. Once you know, you can make the decision as to whether or not you think he'll change.
If you feel he just needs time, give him lots of freedom and air to breath, and treat him well. Don't rush or push him. Let him decide when he's ready, and in the meantime, appreciate and enjoy your own freedom. IF he keeps backing off and won't commit, you'll need to make a decision. Pick a date, could be at the three- or four-month mark, when you'll leave if he hasn't committed. Let him know your intentions. When the date comes, leave. Don't waiver. After all, why be with somebody who doesn't want to be with you? The longer you allow the situation to drag on, the harder terminating the relationship will ultimately be. And, you're losing the opportunity and time to meet someone else, someone who may or MAY NOT have the same commitment issues. While there's a chance he may realize that life with you is more important than whatever it was that kept him from committing, don't count on it. Once you've said goodbye, understand that he'll likely be gone forever.

My bipolar marriage blog

I am in love. With the person I live with. Who is an amazing partner and a wonderful friend. Whom I think I’d like to grow old with, and with whom I dream of creating a merry band of progressive family and friends. Although in some ways it's taken a while to admit I in some ways. AND in some ways not. However; then even saying it out loud even in my mind feels kind of desperate, kind of unfeminist, kind of definitely not me, or at least not any me that I recognize. But there is no way, much as I want to show him how I love him that I’m eager to get married again. Been there. Done that. Got the divorce, GOT SCREWED in the DIVORCE settlement, and the resolution not to do it again. “There is no way I ever want to get married again,” Because for me I am hardly like those girls on TLC saying yes to the dress and I would never compete for a man like those poor actress-wannabes on The Bachelor. However visions of the fairy tale wedding are rolling around in my head. The perfect dress,( I will admit to looking) the cake, the dance, the church even and I'm not even Christian. Even the ring is in my head. That perfect little piece of cut glass. And yet, the more involved I get, the more I review my reasons for not wanting to marry him. (And does that mean I really do?) I'm feeling VERY bipolar right now! What I know is that I never again want to think about marrying someone as a way to show them how much I love them. I never want to get married to prove I care, to make a gesture, to let marriage become the declaration of commitment. I don’t want to get married so my friends and family know he’s the one for me, or to make it easier to handle our taxes. I also don’t want to get married so I can have someone to take care of me. Or so I won’t be alone. Or for companionship, or to split the expenses. I don’t want to get married so we can share health insurance, or because it would protect us from STDs, heartbreak, loneliness, or depression. I don’t believe in the institution of marriage anymore. Not for me, at my age and my stage. Although, many years ago, I thought making the commitment to get married was the most wonderful thing I could do, an amazing declaration of love between me and my former husband, now I think there are other ways to demonstrate commitment that are far more powerful. Like buying a house together, or planning a community, or just being happy and connected year after year, like my friends Eve and Rain, who after 5 years of dating, are having a hand-fasting, a beautiful pagan commitment ceremony. ( I also believe that same sexes should also should be allowed to marry) or my friends Lyl and Tim who are having wonderful mountain wedding. THEN, something happened. Another birthday, Another post from another friend who is getting married and all the details are on facebook daily. Then another engagement announcement. I'm starting to hate all my friends who are becoming brides, why are they so happy; not that I'm not happy. I am but they are planning for this “ever after” that seems so elusive to me. and for the first time ever I began to have feelings about the fact that I'm not married. You never really cared that much before. But suddenly was it sudden? I found Myself wondering...Deep, deep breath... Why I am NOT married. Well, I know why. How? It basically comes down to this: I've been married before. Done the divorce route even, the I hate men thing, then back to the marriage thing. My mother has been married multiple, yep multiple, multiple times. So I know marriage and I do know why I am not married as well. Which is funny because I was, for some reason,born knowing how to get married. Growing up in my houses is a big part of it, my house was so insecure. The need for security made me look for very specific traits in the men I dated. Traits it turns out lead to marriage a surprisingly high percentage of the time or so I thought. Silly me with that thinking? But I won't lie. The problem is me. After all I can only truly solve my own problem anyway right? So until I resolve my problems; Instead of marrying him for now; if ever, I want to treat him so well, every day, that our interaction has the same power as the legal ceremony I’m escuing. I want to be more honest and more present, more committed and more tender. I don’t want the security of being married to allow me to be in denial about ways I am not there for him the way it made it easier for me to ignore or deny my ex-husband’s distress during the long, slow erosion of what we had together. And I don’t want the rules and strictures of the state, or the social contract of marriage, have more emphasis than the life and the relationship we craft together. I know that he and I are together for many years, and our relationship continues to deepen, I need to show, and to demonstrate over and over, that he and I are together not because we signed a piece of paper, but because we each chose to be here. And that the freedom to go is another one of the gifts we give one another in choosing, instead, to stay. In our country, marriage is held up as a sacrament, a sacred union, the highest commitment. Little girls are trained to dream of it, boys to imagine they will someday select a bride. But not only do I not want the State to legislate whom I can and cannot marry, I also resent the popular culture that makes marriage the ultimate prize. The whole idea that couples who marry are by default more serious, more committed, and more absorbed in one another just puts my teeth on edge. I do not believe, gender, time, or religion or culture can tell us who we can love. We love who we love. My Love to Anyone is the ultimate endgame it should have no attached and no piece of paper should make it valid or invalid.

Why you are not married

So originally this was ONE blog and now it's going to be 3 maybe more any way. This is the first of what will be at least 3 on marriage today's topic, why those women who want to be married are not.

1. You're a Bitch.
Here's what I mean by bitch. I mean you are ANGRY; You probably don't think you're angry. You think you're super smart, or if you've been to a lot of therapy, that you're setting boundaries. But the truth is you're PISSED. At your mom. At the military-industrial complex. At whoever pissed in your Wheaties this week. At whoever cut you off on the freeway this morning. And it's scaring men off. The deal is: most men just want to marry someone who is nice to them. I am the mother of a 13-year-old boy, which is like living with the single-cell protozoa version of a husband. Here's what my son wants out of life: macaroni and cheese, a video game, and Kim Kardashian. Have you ever seen Kim Kardashian angry? I didn't think so. You've seen Kim Kardashian smile, wiggle, and make a sex tape. Female anger terrifies men. I know it seems unfair that you have to work around a man's fear and insecurity in order to get married but actually, it's perfect, since working around a man's fear and insecurity is big part of what you'll be doing as a wife. As for this I will admit I have some anger issues, don't we all? and men don't want angry women and in all fairness there are a lot of angry women out there!

2. You're Shallow.
When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man's character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. Because if you were looking for a man of character,you would have found one by now. Right? Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit. (MEN who don't want to commit for whatever LAME excuse are not men of character period!) Instead, you are looking for someone tall dark and handsome or rich. Or someone who knows what an Eames chair is. (I know this by the way) Unfortunately, this is not the thinking of a wife. This is the thinking of a teenaged girl. And men of character do not want to marry teenaged girls. Because teenage girls are never happy. And they never feel like cooking, either. (They just want taco bell all the time)

3. You're a Slut.
Hooking up with some guy in a hot tub on a rooftop is fine for the ladies of the The Real Housewives but they're not trying to get married. You are. Which means, unfortunately, that if you're having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin it doesn't stay recreational for long. That's due in part to this thing called oxytocin a bonding hormone that is released when a woman a) nurses her baby and b) has an orgasm that will totally mess up your casual-sex game. It's why you can be f**k-buddying with some dude who isn't even all that great and the next thing you know, you are in love; what the fuck? And you have no idea how it happened. Oxytocin, that's how it happened. And since nature can't discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you're going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.

4. You're a Liar.
It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he's not really available for a relationship. He has some condition that absolutely precludes his availability, like he's married, or he gets around town on a skateboard or bike or the bus. Or maybe he just comes right out and says something cryptic and open to interpretation like, "I'm not really available for a relationship right now." “It's not you it's me” or “My last marriage damaged me” You know if you tell him the truth that you're ready for marriage he will stop calling. Usually that day. And you don't want that. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don't want to get in a relationship at all! You swear! About ten minutes later, the oxytocin kicks in. You start wanting more. But you don't tell him that. That's your secret just between you and 22,000 of your closest girlfriends. Instead, you hang around, having sex with him, waiting for him to figure out that he can't live without you. I have news: he will never "figure" this out. NEVER!!!! LET me say this again ladies; NEVER! He already knows he can live without you just fine. And so do you. Or you wouldn't be lying to him in the first place. OR yourselves!!!!

5. You're Selfish.
If you're not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your muffin top, your double chin, your naso-labial folds. You think about your career, or if you don't have one, you think about doing yoga teacher. Sometimes you think about how marrying a wealthy guy or at least a guy with a really, really good job would solve all your problems. Well the Lotto just a small one would solve your problems right? However, a good wife, even a halfway decent one, does not spend most of her day thinking about herself. She has too much s**t to do.

6. You're Not Good Enough.
Oh, I don't think that. You do. I can tell because you're not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job. Here is what you need to know: YOU ARE ENOUGH RIGHT THIS MINUTE! Period. Not understanding this is a major obstacle to getting married, since women who don't know their own worth make terrible wives. Why? You can fake it for a while, but ultimately you won't love your spouse any better than you love yourself. Smart men know this.

Alright, so that's the bad news. The good news is that I believe every woman who wants to can find a great partner. You're just going to need to get rid of the idea that marriage will make you happy. It won't. Once the initial high wears off, you'll just be you, except with twice as much laundry. Unless you are already doing the laundry without the benefit of the ring in that case then you are a whole other blog! Because ultimately, marriage is not about getting something it's about giving it. Strangely, men understand this more than we do. Probably because for them marriage involves sacrificing their most treasured possession a penis and for us, it's the culmination of a princess fantasy so universal, it built Disneyland. The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don't deserve it. Because most of the time, your messy, farting, macaroni-and-cheese eating man will NOT again let me say NOT be doing what you want him to. But as you give him love anyways because you have made up your mind to transform yourself into a person who is practicing being kind, deep, virtuous, truthful, giving, and most of all, accepting of your own dear self you will find that you will experience the very thing you wanted all along: Love.

The Sensitive Dwarf

I think if I was a dwarf I would be the sensitive dwarf. I get told all the time You’re so sensitive. You’re so emotional. You’re defensive. You’re overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Stop freaking out! You’re crazy! I was just joking, don’t you have a sense of humor? You’re so dramatic. Just get over it already! Does this Sound familiar? If you’re a woman, it probably does. Not that men don't or can't be sensitive; my Joey is a sensitive Kid, he gets teased and picked on for it, often times to horrible teenage high school levels for it. Which as a mom I want to kill for. You understand my meaning. So does anyone else besides me ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said? When someone says these things to you, it’s not an example of inconsiderate behavior. When your spouse shows up half an hour late to dinner without calling that’s inconsiderate behavior. A remark intended to shut you down like, “Calm down, you’re overreacting,” after you just addressed someone else’s bad behavior, is emotional manipulation pure and simple. And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. This epidemic helps fuel the idea that women need only the slightest provocation to unleash their (crazy) emotions. It’s patently false and unfair. I think it’s time to separate inconsiderate behavior from emotional manipulation and we need to use a word not found in our normal vocabulary. I want to introduce a helpful term to identify these reactions: gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a term, often used by mental health professionals (I am not one), to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy. By the way for those of you who are too young to know or have now appreciation for the true art of film. The term comes from the 1944 MGM film, “Gaslight” starring Ingrid Bergman. Bergman’s husband in the film, played by Charles Boyer, wants to get his hands on her jewelry. He realizes he can accomplish this by having her certified as insane and hauled off to a mental institution. To pull of this task, he intentionally sets the gaslights in their home to flicker off and on, and every time Bergman’s character reacts to it, he tells her she’s just seeing things. In this setting, a gaslighter is someone who presents false information to alter the victim’s perception of him or herself.
Today, when the term is referenced, it’s usually because the perpetrator says things like, “You’re so stupid” or “No one will ever want you,” to the victim. This is an intentional, pre-meditated form of gaslighting, much like the actions of Charles Boyer’s character in Gaslight, where he strategically plots to confuse Ingrid Bergman’s character into believing herself unhinged.The form of gaslighting I’m addressing is not always pre-mediated or intentional, which makes it worse, because it means all of us, especially women, have dealt with it at one time or another. Those who engage in gaslighting create a reaction whether it’s anger, frustration, sadness in the person they are dealing with. Then, when that person reacts, the gaslighter makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure by behaving as if their feelings aren’t rational or normal. All feeling are rational and normal UNLESS you are a sociopath or psychopath then sorry I can't help. My friend Linda (all names changed to protect privacy) is married to a man who feels it necessary to make random and unprompted comments about her weight. ( He is no Slim Guy himself mind you) Whenever she gets upset or frustrated with his insensitive comments, he responds in the same, defeating way, “You’re so sensitive. I’m just joking.” However if she says anything in return he blows her off, gets drunk or tells her its ok for a man to be fat. I think gaslighting can be as simple as someone smiling and saying something like, “You’re so sensitive,” to somebody else. Such a comment may seem innocuous enough, but in that moment, the speaker is making a judgment about how someone else should feel. When and why did society decide it was okay to speak for other people's feelings? While dealing with gaslighting isn’t a universal truth, we all certainly know plenty who encounter it at work, home, or in personal relationships. And the act of gaslighting does not simply affect those who are not quite sure of themselves. Even vocal, confident, assertive individuals are vulnerable to gaslighting. Women far worse then men. Why?
Because women bare the brunt of our neurosis. It is much easier for us to place our emotional burdens on the shoulders of our wives, our female friends, our girlfriends, our female employees, our female colleagues, than for us to impose them on the shoulders of men. It’s a whole lot easier to emotionally manipulate someone who has been conditioned by our society to accept it. We continue to burden women because they don’t refuse our burdens as easily. It’s the ultimate cowardice. Whether gaslighting is conscious or not, it produces the same result: it renders some women emotionally mute. These women aren’t able to clearly express to their spouses that what is said or done to them is hurtful. Women are bread to be fearful. Fearful of being alone, fearful of not being loved, fearful of how we look, fearful of how we feel, fearful of not being good enough, just fear full. They can’t tell their boss that his behavior is disrespectful and prevents them from doing their best work. They can’t tell their parents that, when they are being critical, they are doing more harm than good. When these women receive any sort of push back to their reactions, they often brush it off by saying, “Forget it, it’s okay.” That “forget it” isn’t just about dismissing a thought, it is about self-dismissal. It’s heartbreaking. No wonder some women are unconsciously passive aggressive when expressing anger, sadness, or frustration. I will admit that I am am not longer unconsciously passive aggressive now I am very passive aggressive which is also bad. However women who are passive aggressive maybe are not these angry bitches maybe for years , they have been subjected to so much gaslighting that they can no longer express themselves in a way that feels authentic to them. They say, “I’m sorry,” before giving their opinion. In an email or text message, they place a smiley face next to a serious question or concern, thereby reducing the impact of having to express their true feelings. You know how it looks: “You’re late :)” These are the same women who stay in relationships they don’t belong in, who don’t follow their dreams, who withdraw from the kind of life they want to live. The why women are portrayed on TV and Reality shows Really bothers me, it feeds into this. It conditions society to accept the idea that women are unbalanced, irrational individuals, especially in times of anger and frustration. These acts steal voices from women and from all. Your voice is your most powerful tool use it to stand up for yourself and for others. Don't always apologize, don't always back down. Isn't what you feel and what you say important aren’t you and your feeling important Sensitive or not?

So why Blog?

So I've been Blogging off and on for years now, REALLY hoping to get into a daily blog this time, College is done for me and aside from work and my daily commitment to Farmville, Facebook, Googleplus and Twitter I have nothing but time on my hands. We have SO many social media outlets toady that people are like why blog? Well Twitter doesn't give you the space to express yourself, googgle plus is very new and facebook turned into a piss fest or game feast. Now hat being said I'm guilty on all counts. I really started blogging as a way of self-expression and that still what this is going to be . MY self expression, So this is my disclaimer for my BLOG. This is my opinion of whatever the hell I'm writing about. Some-days I may vent other days it may be funny who knows, look back at my other blogs if you want to know. OR don't follow me or just randomly link to me when I post links. I think my biggest enemy is going to be motivation but in anything new, like me going to the gym, lets see how long that lasts shall we? Motivation is a factor. In either case a strong motivation must be found to maintain the constant flow of blog content needed to both attract readers and keep them coming back, I hope coming back. I also hope to help others. I have some health conditions I intend to blog about, Now I am not a Doctor or nurse. But I hope that maybe my tips will help someone maybe. Being sick sucks, It's worse when you have a chronic health condition that you will always have and have to maintain daily. It sucks, forget to take medication for a day and your next day is shot to shit! The weather changes and you can't move, big time suckage! Again I hope to help others! Plus I want to share experiences with others, Teenagers, kids in General dealing with shit I've dealt with, I'll blog about it at some point, Like my old facebook questions if someone wants me to blog about something I will, I LOVE to research then give my opinion. Now if offering my opinion helps others or offers insight into some problems or opens someone mind to look at something a different way great! I will be the first to admit that I can be a very black and white person. I am trying to be more gray. It's hard for me. I think that there are certain moral values period. Other things I think are open for debate. However Hypocrites ALWAYS piss me off! I hope to make this a fun, funny and insightful experience for all! And look at that this Blog pretty much wrote itself! YEAH!!!

Inspired

Have you ever met someone who truly inspires you? For me, I have lots who inspire me, My Grandmothers most of all, some of my friends, some of them my co-workers. Today I want to talk about those in my life who inspire. Often times we think about those on our lives after they are gone. It's too late by then. I just made a trip to Colorado as I do now since it no longer my home and each time I see certain people and others I only occasionally see and then I it leads me to think about the bonds I have with these people and why. First the men in my life, my children, they are my biggest inspiration daily. Many people wonder I am sure why I would choose to let my children live with my ex husband in another state; It was hard, I think the hardest decision I ever made. However my children wanted something and as a mother we move heave and earth to make it happen, they wanted to go to school in Fountain, and they wanted mom to be okay. Well Mom was not okay in Fountain, our lives take many twists and turns and most we never see coming. My kids wanted to Stay where they felt they grounded which was fountain and with my ex-husbands family, who were a close nit family thanks to his grandmother. My family was spread out in another state and my own mother does not even speak to me, so I understood my children choice. As the parent I let my kids choose as I watch them grow up via email, facebook and video chat. They still inspire me. Then I other men in my life who inspire me, my ex husband who mostly inspires me through frustration as I see all the things I don't want to do. My love; Troy who came into my Life at such a dark time and turned on light; I know he is supposed to be my fairy tale and I know I'm not the easiest person to love at times, So many other men in my life as well, from friends, to co-workers, those who go above and beyond for friends and family, those who struggle for kids, those who are going through divorces, been through a divorce or trying to keep marriages together. Those who work to pay for mortgages of homes they don't live in, those who pay child support for kids when ex wives don't work and those who pay alimony (which know I don't believe in), Those men who share custody and try and be good Fathers on there sides of the weeks. You men all inspire me!! THEN I want to talk about the women who inspire. Those women who The women who make us stronger, who inspire us and check in on us. The women who welcome us into their lives with no judgments and treat us like family. I encourage you to celebrate these women in your life, to Mail then a card to say HI!! to take them to dinner, to welcome them as your "beacons," making your work and your life mean even more. As you know, the "Mom-friend' can be one of the deepest, strongest bonds. A colleague here compares mom friends to Soldiers, going through boot camp together and living in the trenches of motherhood leaning on each other for support and strength. I want to honor the Friends in My life. Those who make us stronger, who inspire us and check in on us. My Grandmothers inspired me so much my grandma Ida with her cooking. I can still smell Tortillas and think of her. My Grandma Oma, who daily inspires me, she kicks my ass some-days always wanting better for me than I want for myself but if no for her I would have never gone to college. My aunts who each in their own way inspire me. Even my mother inspires me mostly in what not to do. My cousins who are becoming parents of their own now. My Female Friends, One who tries to save the world over and over again, dogs, kids, but can't seem to find her own prince. One who just found hers. One who always there for me and has the biggest most forgiving heart. One who I have known since I was 3. One who is that “Mom-Friend” and we have been in the battle trenches and suffered great losses. I'm not sure how I can ever thank all my friends for the bonds I have with them. If I found them by blood, work, volunteering, accident, school, college or what for some reason we have bond. I love you all!

What is the value of a new suit $500
What is the value of a College Eduacation..$50,000
Value of a New Home..$200,000
What is the value of a Rolex Watch..$2,000

What is the value of a Friend?
Friends to listen
Friends to care
Friends to last a lifetime

Priceless.

Politics

So politics is one of those taboo topics however it is election time and frankly all the candidates scare me, not just the presidents, but the senators and congress as well. Perhaps living in the DC area and seeing how far off of reality it really is bothers me. We have HUGE problems in this country and yet the majority of news stories recently and so much time has been devoted to a discussion topic that no one really cares out until recently, it was decided YEARS AGO that abortion and birth control were legal, SO why are we bothering to discuss them? LETS TALK about JOBS, ECONOMY, TAXES and DEFENSE. REAL issues facing Americans that Americans care about. I'm tired of listening to the Catholic church and it's objectios to birthcontrol; SO what? This is a church that defined cults and yet has the nerve to call other churches a cult, this is a church that does not take care of it's own memebers, the youngest of whom are abused and paid off by the one's in a position of trust and authority. Really you want to jusdge? Most women use some for of birth control at some time in their lives, even the rhythm method is still a form of birth control; SO if you believe in God and doing his will then STOP everything! I mean this is America for pete's sake people do we serously want a president who thinks SEX is only for procreatin? He's going to one grumpy person all the time then because none of the candidates should be having sex them! AS for the business of it being an insurance issue then YOU stop carrying insurance stop being an Equal oppurtinuty employer and tell your staff that much, then they can go find work elsewhere. The Catholic church is not a business its a CHURCH so they need to stay out of business peroid then this is NOT an issue. OTHER Christain companies do not offer health isurance and tell you this, I see this as a simple solution, they are not EEO and no one has to be. The Catholic church is in the business world for the $$$ and if they can't give their employees the insurances they need they need to get out of BUSINESS World not everyone that works there are Catholic. I'd bet some of them are even homosexual. LETS Talk Jobs, We need a jobs program in this contry, one that actually requires people to work and we have the work, road, bridges and some of the infrastructure is collaping but these people to work, we don't because of Red tape by union group. The econonmy is stagnant and is going to be that wat for a very long time until something drastic changes, peroid. There is no quick fix solution.