My mother

So once again I allow myself to be hurt by my mother. She and I have never been the best of friends and considering its been almost a year since she has spoken even a few words to me I guess we wont be. Her birthday is this weekend and I was going to go online and order something and have it sent with a card, then I look and see she exchanged what I sent her from Christmas for something else. I guess it shouldn't surprise me since nothing I have ever picked out for her has been good enough. It just still hurts not to mention I didn't get so much as a thank you from her for Christmas, not a card nothing. Then my last trip to Colorado I sent her a letter before I left, left her a voice mail and texted her that I was coming and maybe we should do dinner, coffee something. I'm old enough to realize that someone has to make the first move. I'm even willing for it to be me. I get nothing except a text back the day I was leaving on my way to the airport saying she just got my texts. Really? I find that hard to believe. So I've decided selfishly I'm not sending her anything I'm not going to call or text her, I'm tired of it being "That's how Lizzy is". I'm hurt that its my mom and I want that relationship with her however I have enough positive people in my life I can live without the negative one even if it is my mother. Someday maybe she will make an effort because I'm done trying. Still though the little girl in me wants her mommy :-(